Sexyat40

I was visiting a website for older women, and one of the most common topics, of course, is cheating husbands, and how to control them. I was actually shocked at the number of women who have a set list of “deal breakers”, or situations that are non-negotiable and would immediately end the marriage or relationship.

I have a hard time with that. One thing I think most women look for in their life is unconditional love. But how is unconditional love possible when all you are offering in return is love with conditions? For me, having “deal breakers” in place immediately takes compassion and forgiveness off the table. 

In life, I want a partner, not a person that I feel I need to manage. And by setting conditions, I would be putting myself in a manager position instead of a partnership position.  I accept the fact that that I married another human being, and as such, is capable of stumbling and making mistakes. But by setting conditions, I am not offering partnership. A true partner would say, “If you stumble, I will help brush you off and get you back on your feet.”

 And does my husband see this as a permission to screw around? No, quite the opposite. He understands the true gift of unconditional love. And we all know that rules enhance temptation. He understands that the gift of unconditional love actually holds him to a higher standard, one that says “I know you might make a mistake, but I also know the great things you are capable of.” He is empowered to live his life, and works hard to never abuse the gift we have given each other.

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