Sexyat40

 Now that I am a little more calm after reading a recent article on female sexual dysfunction, there are a few points that I think are worth making.

The article states that since only 12% of women find their issues of “dysfunction” as bothersome, it’s not really an issue. The article says that it is reassuring that women are not concerned.

 As most women know, our sex drive does fall into natural cycles where it is lower at times than others. Simple stress, the demands of child rearing and careers do have a definite effect on our libidos.  But is it something to be brushed off as normal? My answer is “Not so fast”.

 It is important to trace the loss of libido to a definitive cause. Is it daily stress or the demands of my job, or could there be something more going on? Loss of libido can be a symptom of depression, diabetes, nervous system problems, and even early Parkinson’s disease. In the examples of depression and diabetes, both can lower our libidos and create a new sense of “normal”. With the loss of sex drive, we don’t crave sex, and therefore do not miss it. So it does not seem bothersome to us on a daily basis. So I wouldn’t be so fast to brush it off as “normal.” 

 But it is important that we understand our bodies, and if we do see a change in libido, we follow up on it and make sure that we are not missing an important diagnosis.

I came across this article  that left me quite confused.

According to the article, 43% of women report some sort of sexual dysfunction, while only 12% find it bothersome. The article then continues to state that ”only 12 percent reported distress related to any of these problems. ‘Sexual problems are common in women, but problems associated with personal distress, those which are truly bothersome and affect a woman’s quality of life, are much less frequent’ ”

Wait a minute, women’s sexuality is NOT considered a quality of life issue? If that were the case, then why are they labeling it as a “dysfunction”? Men’s sex lives are considered quality of life issues, and medical insurance plans even cover Viagra and penile implants as quality of life issues. Are we that different from men? What about issues or cases in which loss of sexual desire could be a symptom of a larger and more serious medical condition such as diabetes? By labeling the dysfunction as normal is not only dis-empowering to women, but could potentially stop a woman from pointing it out to a doctor to help diagnose a more significant or life threatening issue.

 The article then goes on to state even further:

“Although it’s reassuring that fewer women are distressed by sexual problems, they still affect approximately one in eight adult women ”

Why is it reassuring that women fewer women are distressed? Isn’t it possible that women have given up in frustration and resigned themselves that, using the same study, 31% of men suffer dysfunction, and receive medical help in the form of Viagra, implants pumps and other technologies while women are simply being told that their dysfunction is normal?

Even in doing some research for this post, I came across tons of bad information. On WebMD, their solutions for women’s sexual dysfunction were to “buy new sheets” and “light candles”. Pretty sad coming from one of the top health authorities on the Internet.

The reality is that women’s sexuality is not only a quality of life issue, but a health issue.

 The art of keeping chaos at bay is a skill that I think I have learned over the years.

There are certain rituals I have to keep myself centered. Early in the morning, I love to grab an apple and a big glass of water, sit on the front porch and shop online. By shop, I mean hit my favorite sites, and add things to my online shopping carts. It doesn’t mean I buy them, just putting them in the cart is usually sufficient.

 There are also certain times throughout the day that I make sure I take “me time”, like going out and grabbing a cup of coffee. Or turning the ringer off the house phone, and turning down the volume of the answering machine. If it’s important, I’ll return the call later.

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